Monday, February 4, 2013

Just a Thought

As salaam alaikum,

I got to thinking earlier this morning after working the night shift about freedom. Specifically, the freedom that my mentors and preceptors cite that women on birth control feel. Especially those forms of birth control in which you don't have to menstruate every month. How freeing, a woman in control of her body.

But for someone whose past relationships were contingent on whether or not sex was available...birth control methods were not the lowest common denominator of freedom.

Because I don't care if I bleed every month and it hurts. I don't care if my mood does swing and I may lash out. I don't care if I'm trying to intubate a patient just in time to have that sneaking feeling that I should have left the tampon in a day longer. I care more that I'm with someone who respects me, respects the choices I've made for my life, including my body, instead of disregarding it.

It is always up to me, but I value a partnership where it is not only up to me.

Because if I'm in a partnership and the burden falls squarely, primarily and only on me...that is not freedom, my friend.

Freedom for me starts with mutual protection of interests in a relationship, including those having to do with life, body and reproduction. This is my lowest common denominator.

The rest is all synergy.


  1. hmmm freedom and relationships? I think the two do not go hand in hand...ha, ha...

    I've been thinking about this too, and am really internalizing for better or worse, that true freedom is not being tied to a certain reality. If I don't get the picket fence and 2.5 children, it doesn't mean folding into a ball and crying my eyes out (forever)...

    I don't know, I guess love and mutual respect is perhaps a concept that will change over time.

    1. Freedom in relationships is highly variable, I agree. I'm specifically talking reproductive freedom. The lowest common denominator of reproductive freedom is not an exogenous birth control method is my point. It should stem first from mutual protection of each other's life, body and aspirations, and so often it doesn't.

      In terms of freedom overall, I think its an elusive entity that anyone is hard-pressed to attain. You can have a high amount of autonomy, probably the better word, in a relationship, but once children enter into the picture, all bets are off, maybe forever.