Saturday, February 26, 2011

The First Fight

As salaam alaikum,

Well, not really the first fight, but the first serious discussion. After this month, it was only going to happen. At the depths of it, it's like...I'm sacrificing what I once held dear, the want to end up with someone who believed as I do, to be with you. Because of that, there is a minimum of things I expect from you that at first I feel like I got from you and now, I feel like I don't. You are an interesting and beautiful person, you inspire me, you remind me a little bit of my father, a little bit of my mother and have the potential to be someone to fit right into my family and with me in a way that few other individuals could.

But you seem to not understand how I feel about you, and the place I put you in my life, and even with all the beautiful you are and how much I love you...if we don't get this worked out, if we don't see eye to eye at the end of this, then maybe we're not what either of us needs.

I feel like I'm sacrificing so much of myself and you're doing little to nothing in return. I feel like I'm working for this relationship and you're just taking things as they come, expending little more effort than it takes to respond to texts that I may send you while you're in the middle of coding, texts that I send you when I'm already wary of whether your busy or not and if I'm bothering you.

You talk little but I need you to say more.

So that's that. It could be that he'll leave here today and we'll have a better understanding of each other and our needs. It could be that we end here and we've parted ways. I don't want it to be the latter because, God, I've gotten so used to him being in my life...

But...I can't say. We just need to talk.

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