Always Answered / Thirteenth Juz

As salaam alaikum,

Should this not be enough for me that my heart is set at ease, even if the details of my eventual fate I cannot know?

"And [always] does He give you something out of what you may be asking of Him, and should you try to count God's blessings, you could never compute them. [And yet,] behold, man is indeed most persistent in wrongdoing, stubbornly ingrate!" (14:34)

Few of us are exempt from this designation...we are ingrates! But it is our nature, after all...do we fault children, for example, for not being grateful for having been raised from babyhood by parents? I still to this day cannot aptly show my gratitude towards my mother, even if I wrote a book about all she's done for me, and all of that pales in comparison to what God has done and is doing for me.

And yet I'm caught on the same complaints, day in and day out. I'll speak for myself for a second...

At the same time, I'm not going to be too too hard on myself. Recall from earlier suwar, when the prophets even asked and seemed dumbfounded at what God could do...that He could provide Abraham with offspring in him and his wife's old age, that the woman in the House of Imran would have greatness in her child, who was a girl, Mary...that Mary would have a child when no man had touched her. My favorite one is Abraham asking for a sign from God and then was asked to train four birds...which seems like a wild goose chase (haha, pun intended) but is really a way of witnessing the greatness of God through His creation...

So I won't thrash myself for not having sufficient gratitude...instead, I will remember that my blessings are many. Even if I were to suddenly not be able to complete medical school and never marry, I have so many other blessings...and if He so willed, God could take them all from me. But He never has that intention. I could list my blessings all day and still have many more to go. I have the things that I pray for that are worthy things to have...primarily, marriage and family. Other people, yes, seem to come by it easier than it happens for a few of us...however, this gives me comfort that we will always get what we've asked for.

So I need to continue to preserve and in the meantime rest assured that God has answered so many other prayers before and will answer this one...

And if I doubt, I will look all around me at His creation for signs and work to set my heart at ease with that.